3.30am

The waves crashing against the shore, Wind howling as the branches tore, of the tree above me, Will I go no I won’t leave, I’ll push the boundary we call luck. I’ll stay put with my junk. This junk I own the last of stuff. Before I had more but now it’s tough. The beach is my home, the trees my shelter. No debts or loans, yes life is sweeter. So I’ll stay here until the morrow when daylight comes there’ll be true sorrow….

Have I told you

I need you to help me get through this

Things are falling apart

The jigsaw pieces won’t hold anymore

The ice now in my heart

My voice is low and trembles

new depths to this blue

Soon there’ll be no purpose

If life is without you

Egg shells

Are so fragile

Just like your mind Not agile

Since he left you abandoned

Head spinning and broken

We’ll pick up the pieces

I love you he teases

Stole your thoughts then he laughed

Broke your brain stabbed your heart

You forgave, sad and blue

But your brain blew a fuse

Always nervous anxious and tired

No blue pill, very wired

So amongst the shells we walk

We listen you talk

He’s back now you pray

But he just wants to play…

Daughter

I watched the light dim

As your chocolate eyes watched him

Like many others before

Treated you like a whore

Angel like and naive

A good girl I believed

Walking a dark path straight to

Adulthood just to prove

All around you cotton wool

We tried to cushion you

From the world out there

But you just didn’t care

So on you kept going

Till the fourth boy left you lonely

Defending them you did

Your hurt you couldn’t tell

Kept it buried down the well

Till the water overflowed

Up the darkness it arose

Shaking with rage inside

Blew your insides soul and mind

Now the white walls surround you

Whispers white noise docs in blue

Watch you closely as the cracks

Reveal secrets deep dark and black

I wish you could’ve talked to me

Before the eruption made you bleed

If only you shared your pain

Of the boys who broke your brain

You were real

You were real in my dream

But then I woke it would seem

I was down on my knees

Eyes lowered hands clasped bleeding

A soft touch on my shoulder

I feared to look I was older

Tired and sore fearing what lays

Ahead as I dropped knowing I may

Get whipped from soldiers

Taunted by them

For weak am I but still worked for them

Come you whisper to me softly

My name you called and sad for knowing

Bonny was I once upon a time

The world my oyster

But now is a crime

You helped me rise follow me you smile

No one else saw you invisible was I

We walked down wet paths onto the stairs

You hold my hand I could only stare

Now I know I’ve left this world

With my love I remember you so…

Forgive

I forgive you

But why should I care

When I have

Nothing left to spare

Nor would I even dare

You are leaving

With no remorse or despair

Are there words to change your mind

Or your cold stare

I’m broken up inside

Feeling pain I just can’t hide

In a moment you are gone

Just like this sad sad song

I’ll forgive you

If we give it one more try

I promise not to cry

And leave it there

Will you hold me

Say we will be fine

Words that will not rhyme

As you close the door behind you

One last time …..

I miss

I miss the sun dancing across my face

Kissing my eyes whilst standing a top a hill

I miss the ocean breeze caressing my hair

Whilst my toes are digging into the grains of sandy beaches

I miss the wind circling beneath my nostrils as the leaves of a thick wooded

Area release the perfumes of eucalyptus trees

I miss the fires built within bluestone circles

Omitting their heat to keep strangers warm

I miss sleeping beneath the stars with only the moonlight

To guide us in wooded areas amongst the tall trees

But most of all I miss thee

During this lockdown and unprecedented times we will slowly

Die.

I miss feeling alive…. 💙

She’s like the sun

Her coronal mass ejections

Drew you to her

Without thought and feeling

Her warmth and magnetic pull

Was what you needed to feel

Whole again. Her brightness

Unwavering steadfast gaze

You had no choice

But you missed it.

You missed the coronal holes

The black missing chunks

Created by every disappointment

Heartbreak and lies told to her

One more wrongdoing could burn the sun out

Listen to the mass ejections you may hear

Her cries for the one true love

The promise of centuries and eons before

He will return in this life for her yet chose to be with another

So everyday she rises spins and omits her warmth knowing she has no choice

But to carry on. For many are dependent on her

Until her spark returns no more….

Tired

That tired feeling

Washing over my skin

The new normal

Has broken me in

The search is over

All stones up turned

Today I’m sober

My spirit is burned

All hope is lost

Can’t see you smile

The masks now block

So many vacant eyes

Stare back at me

Uncertain futures

People ready to flee

I woke up tired

And sore and blue

Tired of this sham

This world of new 💙

Twice

That rising ache reaching up wanting

To explode the hurt and pain

Caused by the words that bite and chew

Through the flesh and knawing

At the brittle bones that once were strong

Before the chemicals pumped into veins to stop the

Black mass wanting to overtake

The very matter and thousands of atoms that

Shaped her very being.

But twice the lump that threatened her

To spew forth was suppressed . Down deep

Pretending she didn’t hear the spiteful words

And carried on to create the friendly atmosphere

Unbeknownst to all she knows who lies

Who is deceitful and whom has used her. So quiet

And silent she’ll be. For silence will scream and then the

Sun will shine again and summer will light up the eyes

Hiding behind a veil of sadness engulfing her very

Spirit from lighting the very way needed to go on.